In 1986, a group of curious explorers discovered a cavity underneath the dry surface of the Kalahari desert. They looked into it and the cavern turned out to be filled with tons and tons of water. Water so incredibly still and clear, water that had never seen daylight. Since then, numerous divers have tried to determine the depth of this lake, but with no results. No one has ever gone deeper than three hundred feet, and nobody knows how deep it actually is.
How paradoxical, that all of this water is silently hiding while thirsty animals are eagerly searching for water just above it, in order to survive.
Reading about this reminded me of a certain kind of love. Love that hides under surfaces, love that people think have dried out like mud crumbling to dust and waiting to be spread by chilly afternoon breezes. Love that even you think has gone down the drain because it’s been a long time since you let it drip from your fingernails.
The kind of love that feels like stitches cracking and wounds being ripped open when you look at a random cashier’s hands five months later as he is handing you your change, noticing that his nails look like the ones that used to be entangled in your hair and realising that you never thought about the shape of his fingertips since, but that you never forget about them either. That it feels like yesterday. That everything is still hiding right under an easily breakable surface.
This is the kind of love you get when someone disappears from out of your life without a big bang, without any fiery arguments or doors slamming, leaving you to spend certain nights wondering what the fuck even happened. This is the kind of love you get when someone disappears from out of your life like water running through fingers, when you can’t stop it, when you can’t find out where the cup you formed with your hands is leaking.
A love that’s there and not there at the same time. Invisible but all too ubiquitous. Like a lake of its own whose bottom you’ll never be able to reach.❞
remember the online magazine i told you i’d be writing for? it was launched the other day & so far they posted one of my writings that you can read here. from now on i’ll probably post links on my blog whenever they publish something i wrote (if any of you are interested that is? idk)
also it’s a really cool magazine over all, i hope you’ll like it!