some relationships remind me of tiny, crooked hearts drawn onto the insides of steamy car windows
i think it’s the way they’re a tiny bit childish and never really meant to last forever. or maybe it’s the way they look pretty but make you feel equivalently lonely
Have you ever watched Downton Abbey? Great show, highly recommend.
i haven’t! but my grandparents keep talking about it and they love it. maybe i should check it out haha :p thanks for the tip :)
When i read your posts, it feels like being inside a storm,. They are very powerful. I've always thought you were extremely talented with words because you master them, and then, as a reader, i just love everything you write because it feels real, and not disappointing. I truly think that you are full of life, and i feel it whenever you tell a story or answer a question. Thank you for that, i love your blog. Have a good day dear <3 xx (Luna)
i keep reading this message and i know that you wrote it for me but i still always find it hard to understand when people happen to be so nice to me. i don’t know if i expected something else, i don’t think i expect anything at all but it’s still hard to understand. but in a good way, of course! i want to make a difference you know, even if it’s just a tiny little difference to one other person. :) thank you for this message, it honestly made me feel really good! i hope you’re feeling good too :)
Last night I had a dream about the guy I like and it was really cute and nice. And today it's rainy and cloudy and I'm sad because I know real life will never be as good as that dream. :(
i think that’s how dreams work sometimes, you can wake up and feel so grateful about things or people, but you can also wake up and want to go back to sleep because you want to keep the dream alive. anyway, i know that feeling and i know it sucks. it makes me feel so lame when i want someone i can’t have, it’s the worst feeling in the world. it’ll be okay though :) ❤️
i hate making eye contact. i hate it. i know it's not polite and disrespectful to the person but i hate it. i feel like people let me look and go deep inside them and it makes me feel so weird, as if i was getting inside them. It's not even about the eye colour or if the person is hot that i'm uncomfy but i dislike it. Excuse me if i'm being weird, but it makes me feel like i'm doing something wrong...
i always sort of envied those people who know how to make eye contact and keep it without seeming shy about it, without seeming like they even think about it at all. i’d like to get better at it, both when i’m talking to people i know and when i’m out somewhere. it sometimes happens when i’m on public transport that i accidentally rest my sight on someone and when they look back at me and i realise that i’ve been staring it feels awkward, like they caught me peeking at their naked soul or like i was standing in their garden in the dark of the night, looking at them through their living room windows and wondering what they were thinking about. but lately i’ve discovered that it’s extremely satisfying to look people that you’re a tiny bit intimidated by in the eyes, especially when they’re the ones to look away first.
i thank you for your answer (about relationships) i didn't see it that way, i think i need to reconsider how things work with boyfriends/relationships etc. But you are right, you cannot really know how things will go before they even happen (otherwise that would be fantastic) I hope you have a very lovely day <3
you’re welcome love :) i don’t think my way of seeing things is necessarily right either though, but it’s always nice with different perspectives isn’t it :) i hope you’re having a nice day too! :D
I took shrooms once and acid once. Both were really incredible experiences. I feel like I see everything with a little more depth now, and I feel like they significantly broadened my perspective on most things. I highly suggest you try them if you ever get the opportunity from a trusted friend. :)
well, thank you for the recommendation :) i could probably get my hands on some stuff if i wanted to, but the thought of hallucinating and seeing things that aren’t there and not being in control of my own thoughts and feelings scares me a lot and i don’t ever want to try it. i understand that some people like it and that’s cool (though drugs can be pretty dangerous) because we’re all different and we all like different things, but you know. i don’t mind alcohol or weed every now and then but even skunk makes me panic and i’ve had a really bad experience with it. i didn’t hallucinate or anything, i just panicked and felt like i was about to die (we ate it instead of smoking it so maybe i got a way too big dose, idk, i also brought it from strangers so it could have been bad quality). i don’t know much about drugs but i think they open doors to places that are already inside of your brain and once those doors have been opened you’ll always remember what was in there, if that makes sense. some of my old friends used to take coke and ketamine every weekend (they probably still do) and i didn’t like the way it made them act. i just never really liked drugs a lot but i still find it interesting how some people want to hallucinate and even like it. how did it change or broaden your perspective on things? on what things?
Have you ever taken any hallucinogenic drugs? Like shrooms, or acid?
no.. that stuff scares me :3
a few nights ago i was somewhere between awake and asleep, i wasn’t dreaming yet but the scenarios i was making up had started doing their own thing and in the middle of it all i was woken up by a sound or a new song or something and even though it only took a few seconds for me to close my eyes again i couldn’t remember what i was thinking about. but i wanted to think about it again. i wanted to so badly because whatever it was made me feel hopeful and different and like nothing was wrong or like everything was about to get a lot lighter and okay. it was just a very lovely half-dream but it seemed to have left my body. after a little while it came back to me though and i was sort of confused about how i had thought of it as something lovely because i was thinking about a guy i used to sort of date and love a lot but don’t (really think i do) anymore and.. yeah. it was kind of surprising. this isn’t something you can arrange to happen but when it does i think it’s a good way to tell if you still like someone. or if you at least still like the idea of getting to be with them in the way that you wanted to, even though you know that that’s not possible, that they turned out to be different than you thought or that you did and so on and so on. dreams are weird. they can do all these things to your feelings and there’s nothing you can do about it